JUNEATHON – DAY 30 – DEGREE

So – we reach the end. And although interrupted for a while on the exercise front, and the blogging was towards the end, I’ve written (on average) about 250 words a day. That’s 7500 words in total which in anyone’s book is a long essay – perhaps even a small dissertation.

Just call me Dr. Juneathon.

JUNEATHON – DAY 26

DAY: 26 of 30

CONDITIONS: Hot hot hot, 28 C

LOCATION: -

EXERCISE TYPE: -

DURATION: -

Pet shop, Sainsbury’s, work – with a still dodgy foot. Is that Juneathon?

JUNEATHON – DAY 25 – GIRL INTERRUPTED

DAY: 25 of 30

CONDITIONS: Hot hot hot, 27 C

LOCATION: Greenwich Park

EXERCISE TYPE: Dog walk

DURATION: 30 minutes

Phew, Cinderella again. Dog walk this morning cruelly cut short by a work crisis so had to rush home to the computer…

The damn ankle is still not well and it looks like Juneathon is slipping from my grasp…

JUNEATHON – DAY 23 – YET ANOTHER DOG WALK

DAY: 23 of 30

CONDITIONS: Hot, 25 C

LOCATION: Oxleas Wood

EXERCISE TYPE: Dog walk

DURATION: 60 minutes

Oh yes, the foot still feels stiff and (the exercise part of) Juneathon is but a distant memory. Cursed days. I am also so bored, I could scream. Work and walk, work and walk, work and walk. Oh, no more walk coz the foot hurts – again. Fun summer… Bah!

A picture of Oxleas Wood – which is more of an huge open space with a cafe at the top and a bit of wood each side…

JUNEATHON – DAY 22 – PARK LIFE

DAY: 22 of 30

CONDITIONS: Hot, 25 C

LOCATION: Southwark Park

EXERCISE TYPE: Dog walk

DURATION: 60 minutes

Despite the gentle, easy, mellow exercise of last night, the ankle/lower leg now feels stiff and unwieldy again and so I settled for a walk around Southwark Park with the Entourage and the Labrador – and jolly pleasant it was too. The National Lottery did much a few years ago to revamp the Park from a downtown Kabul-style no-go area into a haven of gentility. Now the bowling green is tenderly watered by attendants, the fragrance of the blooms bounces lovingly on the summer air, the swans and cygnets run, flap, run on the boating lake, widows gaze wistfully at the bandstand from the shadows of the plane trees and… OK, OK, 2.5 million quid bought a lick of paint, a few slides, some refurbished park gates and no doubt a good knees-up dahn the old Rovverhive Mayflower – another ‘oldest pub in Britain’ – for a couple of Southwark Councillors…

But it really does look like this:

…apart from the sort of falling autumn leaves bit. I didn’t have the presence of mind to take a picture of my own today…

In honour of Juneathon we went to investigate the running track in the south-east corner of the park which is a proper old running track, but it’s fenced off and looks as though no one is allowed in. The middle of the running track (i.e. the bit the running track encircles) has a plethora of possible sports facilities. We spotted basketball and hockey and rolled up astroturf – all in a state of sort of forlorn eagerness. What a shame. Criminal, innit?

Because the surrounding area now has several tube lines and a Curry’s Digital and lots of young professionals trying to come to terms with remnants of Pearly Kings strewn about the place, the park is full of lithe runners and Birkenstock mummies walking gamely past the Memorial Garden and Albins, the famous Rotherhithe Funeral Directors, who regularly stage the old, black Victorian funerals complete with black-feathered black horses and black coaches and an authentic, Kray-twin sense of gathering doom.

And Michael Caine was born just around the corner.

Quite a lot of people know that.

JUNEATHON – DAY 21 – MIDSUMMER

DAY: 21 of 30

CONDITIONS: Warm, 22 C

LOCATION: Greenwich Park

EXERCISE TYPE: Dogjog

DURATION: 20 minutes

Yes, so here as we all turn and head towards winter again, the Labrador and I headed back to our old stomping ground for a careful dogjog. The ankle is still not entirely happy about very much at all so we pared it right down and did a very bare minimum of exercise to ensure that everything is not busted again for the rest of the month. It’s not really good, but it’ll do.

Rather than be a continual ankle and injury bore, I then zoomed into Central London for lunch – only to fail to resist becoming an ankle and injury bore over a plate of seared tuna and no, no, no positively no wine at all. On that front at least, Juneathon is proving a mighty influence. Wine bottles everywhere are provocatively calling for the disregard of Juneathon, but no. I am not going down that route.

So – the cusp of the year sees (hopefully) the bottoming out of the Juneathon effort and it’s onwards and upwards (albeit gently) from here…

JUNEATHON – DAY 20 – REST

DAY: 20 of 30

CONDITIONS: Changeable, 19 C

LOCATION: Home

EXERCISE TYPE: -

DURATION: All day

The calm before the storm, before going over the top again. The final rest before Juneathon is attempted again tomorrow morning…

JUNEATHON – DAY 19 – BOO-HOO

DAY: 19 of 30

CONDITIONS: 3 pm, overcast, occasional rain, 16 C

LOCATION: New Cross

EXERCISE TYPE: Walk

DURATION: 60 minutes

Yes, in Juneathon no one can hear you scream. Except of course that nice man of encouragement (aka the Evil Adjudicator or Mr JogBlog) who so kindly assures everyone that the world is actually really truly interested in their little Juneathon charade and dented self-esteem and hurty feeties.

Well, today I walked a lot – namely to the Goldsmith’s Open Day to enrol in a module of their PACE (Professional and Community Education – pah! aka evening entertainment for washed-up no-hopers) only to find that the person I needed to see about the programme had just buggered off with other students. Thus endeth my theatrical career. So I gamely trotted off to Sainsbury’s for provisions and only when hauling the haulage home did the right foot start to object again and postpone the resumption of Juneathon for yet another day. Perhaps there’s a play in this? Look out for that West End production of Shunningrunning and the Amazing Juneathon Dreamcoat or Waiting for Juneathon or the Juneathon Trap or Juneathon Never Dies or Jesus Christ Juneathon…

Or perhaps a top 10 hit? Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Juneathon Bikini…

Or perhaps a franchise? Juneathon is Not Enough or The Juneathon Daylights or Licence to Juneathon or – in my case – Juneathon Another Day?

JUNEATHON – DAY 18 – CINDERELLA

DAY: 18 of 30

CONDITIONS: Noon, sunshine, 22 C

LOCATION: Greenwich Park

EXERCISE TYPE: Dog walk

DURATION: 60 minutes

Phew. Just made it in before midnight. I am the Cinderella of Juneathon. The good news is that the foot is improving rapidly and I may soon get back to the point at which I left off. Walking around is now fairly normal with only stairs causing slight discomfort.

But I doubt anyone is interested any more…

JUNEATHON – DAY 17 – SUE

DAY: 17 of 30

CONDITIONS: 1 o’clock

LOCATION: Greenwich Park

EXERCISE TYPE: Dog walk

DURATION: 60 minutes

Another walk/hobble round Greenwich Park this lunchtime in place of real exercise. Which got me thinking. This must be someone’s fault. In fact, I know it is. And it can’t be MY fault. How could it be? I was just following orders. Yes, the order to exercise every day and blog about it. Which I duly did. Until this happened. In fact, I went far beyond the call of duty and ran even when in my heart of hearts I knew I shouldn’t be running. So whose fault is that?

I think you can see where this is going. I am currently taking legal advice with a view to SUING JUNEATHON. I mean, people have been paid compensation for far less. People dribble down themselves and get awarded zillions. And here I am having lost the use of a substantial limb, having suffered severe emotional distress, being prevented from properly living my exciting and fun-packed daily life – and possibly BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST ON THE GROUNDS OF DISABILITY. Let’s just see how that looks in court, Juneathon. Aesthetically speaking, hobbling doesn’t sit right up there either with being nimble and sprightly – so lots of damage to my self-esteem. Not to mention the health and safety aspect of having to drive with a dysfunctional limb. So I think my case is looking pretty damn good (unlike me).

Contributory negligence, Juneathon? Contribution? Fucking over my mobility well and good?